The Issue:
Crises by definition catch us off guard. If we knew a student would be abused or arrested for drug use we would seek do something to prevent it. Whenever and however it hits our students, everything they know suddenly becomes out of balance and feels broken. When this happens they are left to pick up the pieces. This difficult process can be better and a lot more bearable when they have you to walk them through it. Your presence and support when everything else seems out of place is a gift from God to them.
The crisis is defined by the student. One event may bring up other things in their life that feel out of control. All of the things individually or together may seem insignificant from your broader perspective, but to your student the pain, fear, and unsteadiness are real. Their thinking, behavior, and perspective may change rapidly so that they suddenly seem like a different person. This is likely due to what they are facing and how they are reacting to it. In ministry we come alongside those who are hurting and share in their pain. This allows us to encourage them and empower them (the right side of our youth ministry success pyramid). Walk in love, grace, and truth with them and know that all of us and the student’s parents want God’s best for each student.
The Concern:
Crises can point students closer to God as they see more clearly their need for Him and the answer He is to the hope, love, and purpose they need in their life. Crises also have the very real possibility to to drive students to questioning God and anger about things that happen that they may never recover from.
We all probably know someone who seems stuck in a teenage mindset and act like they have never really grown up. It was probably a crisis that caused them to get “stuck” in their development. At the same time we see over and over how people who are able to work through challenges grow tremendously in their life and faith.
No situation is beyond the redemptive work of God through Jesus, but many things our students face will hurt them and require hard work to get through with God. Students need you as their leader to have hope for them that things can get better and to demonstrate God’s love when everything feels broken.
The Bible:
The Bible has been described as God’s love story toward humanity. When our students are confused and hurting they need to see the reality of God’s love in tangible ways. We can all think of days and events where someone went the extra mile to help us and that made all the difference. This is the case of the parable of The Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). The man who showed compassion and demonstrated the second commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself,” was the one who acted to help the man’s needs in crisis, not the people who knew all the right things.
In God’s love story there are many passages we can look at that remind us of God’s love and comfort in the face of hardship. You may have passages marked or a paraphrase memorized that can remind a student of God’s truth in a challenging situation. These are great to have and a blessing that what we have been through can encourage others. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 reminds us that Christ also suffered, he was comforted by His Father, the “God of all comfort.” This same God comforts us and uses us to comfort others.
Places to start:
When a student opens up to you about the problem they are facing you are the one to handle it, at least initially. Listen what they are saying (and what they are saying underneath that or might be leaving out. The real issue may be deeper than the one they are bringing up). They are telling you there is a problem and a lot of times just getting it out brings at least some relief.
While you are listening say a quick prayer asking for help and leading.
As they talk to you:
-Try to get the facts, while remembering this is their side of the story.
-What does the student think their parents would say?
-Ask about emotions.
-Build trust (Christ accepts you in your mess. Show that same thing to your students while looking for ways to help them move forward)
-Assess the risk to them, someone else, or you being involved
-Work on coming up with a next step or two. (i.e. getting Matt, Brandon, or someone else involved; letting their parents know what is going on; checking in with them the next day or during the week; a passage, book, or article for them to read or the two of you to read together.)
Places to stay away:
Consider why you are getting involved with this students pain. Are you curious about the tragedy in front of them? Are you in it because helping them will make you look/feel better or gain something? Do you want a story to tell others? Your presence with your student can be a huge support to them or can cause greater damage. Please consider your student and how you are capable to help before diving in and being “the one” to get them through.
Where to learn more:
In Crisis Resources
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