One of our goals as a leader in youth ministry is to have strong and healthy relationships with students. However, it's important to maintain the difference between being a leader and being a friend. Problems can appear when those roles are reversed. The challenge is to be a leader first and a friend second. Let's look at a few qualities of each.
A Friend-First Leader will:
1. Obsess over their "cool status" with students
2. Be overly passionate and involved with teenage issues like drama, gossip, stuff at school, etc...
3. Hesitate to challenge students to go deeper in their faith
A leader-first leader doesn't care as much about being liked but is respected and trusted, asks the tough questions, and looks out for the students' best interest. While friends may emulate some of these qualities, leaders have all of these qualities. Don't get me wrong: a leader will resemble a friend in certain ways, but knows where to draw that line.
For instance...
A Leader-First Leader will give:
1. Practical direction. While students' reactions may be hurtful at times, they do respect an adult who provides difficult guidance in a loving way. Whether students are going through positive or difficult situations, they're looking for adults who will give helpful direction- telling them what need to hear, not what they want to hear.
2. Biblical guidance. Friend-first leaders do not often get beyond the surface of a situation before quickly turning to something else- something that's not as threatening as God's truth. Help bring God's perspective into view by giving guidance that is rooted in God's word. Leaders need to be willing to challenge students to seek God in their daily lives.
3. Ongoing care. Our students will find plenty of surface or even fake relationships, however, they're thirsty for loving, authentic relationships. I want to challenge you you to be something different than what students are used to. Seek to love students in an authentic, healthy way. Affirm them in deeper ways than their friends do.
Being an adult leader who truly loves students doesn't mean you won't be likeable and fun to be around. But consider being cool in their eyes as a bonus, rather than your primary goal.
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Apologetic: Was Jesus God?
Topic:
In writing to the Corinthian church Paul discussed Jesus’ resurrection. He told them that if Christ had not been risen from the dead than our “faith is futile and you are still in your sins” (1 Cor. 15:17). He continues if our faith in Christ only gives us hope for this life we should be pitied. If Jesus wasn’t God and didn’t do the things he said he would do, then we are to be pitied and are hopeless. Paul argues Christ is risen. Jesus did what he said he would do. He was who he said he was. Jesus’ life and teaching have been under attack ever since. If Jesus is not credible, people can write him off and don’t have to follow him. If they are wrong then they fall under the judgement of those who rejected him.
Facts & Biblical Foundation:
Jesus was fully God and fully human. The truths below were affirmed church in the 5th century in the Chalcedonian Creed.
1. Jesus has two natures -- He is God and man.
-Titus 2:13; John 20:28; John 1:18;
-He knows everything (Mt 16:21; Luke 11:17; John 4:29)
-He has all power (Mt 8:26-27; 28:18; Jn 11:38-44; Lk 7:14-15; Revelation 1:8),
-He is our Creator (Colossians 1:16).
Jesus is Man
-He was born to a human mother (Luke 2:7; Galatians 4:4)
-He was hungry (Matthew 4:2) and thirsty (John 19:28)
-He experienced emotion (Matt. 8:10; John 11:35).
2. Each nature is full and complete -- He is fully God and fully man.
3. Each nature remains distinct.
4. Christ is only one Person.
5. Things that are true of only one nature are nonetheless true of the Person of Christ.
Extra Biblical accounts line up with what scripture teaches. Historical records outside the Bible affirm that: “Jesus was a wise and provocative Judean teacher, he was said to have performed miracles and made prophetic claims, Jewish leaders condemned him for acts they deemed as ‘sorcery’ and ‘apostasy,’ He was crucified by the Roman procurator Pontius Pilate, Jesus’ followers reported that he had risen from the dead, Christianity spread to Rome where Christians were persecuted, first-century Christians worship Jesus Christ as God, the followers of Christ were known for their courage and virtue.” (Reasons.org)
Where to Start:
What is the motivation for wanting to disprove Jesus? Is the student hurt by something that has happened to them and is struggling with their faith as a result? God is love. Jesus is an expression of God’s love and helps us see even more what the father’s love is like. Is there sin in the student’s life that they don’t want to give up? The message of Jesus is forgiveness of sins. When we turn from sin and follow Jesus we find the abundant life he intends for us. Sin doesn’t seem as worth it.
Where to Learn more:
http://www.reasons.org/articles/the-great-claims-of-jesusWednesday, May 14, 2014
Training Videos
These videos are intended for you to use and help you develop as a leader. The material is copyrighted, please talk to Matt before you share the link with anyone outside Beachpoint!
Leaders Are Learners: Being An Effective Small Group Leader
Leaders Are Learners: A Simple Challenge
Leaders Are Learners: Caring For All, Caring For a Few
Leaders Are Learners: Conversations
Leaders Are Learners: Enhancing Relational Youth Ministry
Leaders Are Learners: Making a Difference
Leaders Are Learners: A Leader's Guide to Social Media
Leaders Are Learners: Being An Effective Small Group Leader
Leaders Are Learners: A Simple Challenge
Leaders Are Learners: Caring For All, Caring For a Few
Leaders Are Learners: Conversations
Leaders Are Learners: Enhancing Relational Youth Ministry
Leaders Are Learners: Making a Difference
Leaders Are Learners: A Leader's Guide to Social Media
Apologetic: Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
Topic:
This question can be asked in a couple ways, as it is stated in the title is the most common way. This phrasing usually focuses on the the goodness of people and that those people deserve things in life to be better. Another way to to look at this question could be, “Why does God allow good things to happen to bad people?” This question looks at the badness of people and that those people don’t deserve good things. In light of both questions there is a reality that bad things happen to good and bad people and also that good things happen to bad and good people. What is God’s role in all of this?
Facts and Biblical Foundation:
-Every good thing is a gift not a right. James 1:17-18
-All people are broken and "bad" at their core. If people were truly good, we wouldn’t need a savior. Ecclesiastes 7:20; Romans 3:10-20; Romans 3:23; 1 John 1:8
-Trust God’s ways. He knows what we need better than we do. He is faithful and good. Prov. 3:5-6.
-Jesus was the good person and yet he gave himself up as a sacrifice for us. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21.
-Suffering may serve a purpose
-We can’t know what God is doing in everything Job 38-39
Note: Not all of these things are constructive to say to someone in counseling after finding out a bad situation they are in. These truths are still in play, but may hurt in a counseling setting. They are very applicable discussing the issue philosophically.
Where to Start:
Is a God who only has good thing happen really a God worth following? If this were the reality, God would be no more than a grandfather who spoiled his kids. There would be little need for a personal relationship, just the stuff. The real God is revealed to be more holy and loving in light of the evil in the world. He gives us hope, love, and redemption in dark places. Start with grieving the bad thing the student is experiencing, affirm the badness of it, and guide them to see that God is bigger than the bad things going on and extremely loving to all people even to the point of sending his son who was blameless to take on the sin of the world. Through Jesus, God understands that bad things happen to the good person, yet Christ considered it worth enduring the cross to demonstrate God’s love to people that don’t deserve it (all of us).
Where to Learn more:
http://412teens.org/qna/why-do-bad-things-happen-to-good-people.php - a question and answer format for students
http://www.everystudent.com/journeys/why.html - a resource designed for students
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Apologetic: Why Does Evil Exist?
Topic:
This question is often posed in light of God’s love. “Why does evil exist if God is good and loving?” This question comes out of the tension we live in on earth. We see the mess, pain, and hurt around us and wonder where it is from. For some this question is a reason to discredit God because evil limits his goodness or love.
Facts:
- Evil is not a thing like the other things God created and said was good. Evil is the result of wrong choices. Genesis 3
- Evil is rooted in broken spirituality.
- Evil is the result of choices, not God’s design.
- The cross is God’s part of the practical solution to evil. Our part is to repent, to believe, and to work with God in fighting evil by the power of love. - Peter Kreeft.
- God is love (1 John 4:8).
- God hear God more clearly through pain, than when things are going well.
- As believers we have hope in pain. 2 Corinthians 4:17
Biblical Foundation:
After God made everything he said it was good (Genesis 1-2). He made man in his image and said it was very good. In creating man he did not make a robot or puppet, but rather a being that has choices and a will to make its own choices freely. Through the temptation of the serpent in the garden and the wrong choice Adam and Eve made, sin and evil entered the world. Genesis 3 record this event and the consequences that came from sin. Until christ returns and the new heaven and new earth are revealed we life under God hoping for his creation to be restored to the way he intended it yet facing the reality of its brokenness.
Where to Start:
The problem of evil as this question is often called tends to assume that evil is bigger than God. The reality is that the opposite is true. God is bigger than evil. God’s character is the opposite of evil. Through the cross God has defeated evil. At the end of time the new heaven and new earth will exist without pain, suffering, or tears. In the mean time, evil and pain point us and our students to God and develop Godly character.
Where to Learn more:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeffrey-small/why-evil-suffering-exist_b_2829441.html - A secular perspective of this question.
http://www.peterkreeft.com/topics/evil.htm - A philospher’s explanation
http://billygraham.org/story/if-god-exists-why-is-there-evil/ - An essay from Billy Graham’s ministry
http://www.josh.org/resources/study-research/answers-to-skeptics-questions/why-does-a-good-god-allow-evil-to-exist/ - A good article from Josh McDowell
Apologetic: How Do We Know God Is Real?
Topic:
The question of God’s reality is a stopping point in many life discussions. Why is there pain or evil leads to questions about whether or not God is real. Morality and moral issues or faith crises also lead to this question. In all of these debates, God is a gentleman. He has made his case in any number of ways and lets the evidence speak for itself. God is not a tyrant or a dictator that demands belief. God has shown grace and blessing to all his creation, as Lord, there will be a day when he holds his creation accountable for believing and trusting in him or rejecting him. What evidence suggests God is real?
Facts and Biblical Evidence:
- God’s power and nature are revealed in the beauty and complexity of creation. Romans 1:20; Psalm 19:1; 97:6; Job 12:7-10
- Through Jesus, God has come to earth. John 14:6-10
- Faith is not a haphazard belief in something (i.e. God). Faith is the result of knowledge and belief that can be trusted. Hebrews 11:1
- The reliability of the Bible is evidence of God’s work across history.
- God worked in the lives of individuals and nations since the beginning of time. We can read stories in the Bible about this, but we hear similar stories of healing (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and transformation today from all around the world and people in our lives. God is still working.
- In every person there is a sense that there is something more and bigger than this universe or life. God has placed eternity on the hearts of man. Ecclesiastes 3:11
- Many people without faith in God point to relationships as the point of life. Genesis 1:26 reveals that God made us in his image with the capacity for relationship that exists within the Trinity.
- Consider the ways God has worked in your or your students’ life in the past. Acts of God (coincidences) were things worked out better than they should have, answered prayers, transformation, overcoming sin, healing from hurt, worship, and other ways God has ministered to you or your students.
Biblical Foundation:
Psalm 14:1 states that “the fool says in his heart there is no God.” This is not a compelling argument to most non believers or a good conversation point for believers to make, but from this we can consider other accounts of doubt from the Bible such as the king of Egypt who wouldn’t let the Israelites leave until God revealed himself through the plagues. Jesus’ disciples such as Peter and Thomas had doubts that Jesus lovingly responded to and showed them who he was.
Where to Start:
Is there a larger issue such as evil or morality that led to this question. Usually God’s reality is questioned in light of something else. It may be that sin has changed the way God intended things to be, or human free will has led to pain. Address these issues in light of who God is and deal with the bigger question of God’s reality if necessary.
Where to Learn more:
5 Reminders When Counseling People In Your LifeGroup
1. Be a Focused Listener
Remember that it’s a big deal that they are even coming to you to share what’s going on, so you need to honor that by listening well. Keep eye contact and actively listen with head nods and other non-verbal gestures to make sure they know you’re tuned in.
2. Don’t Quick Fix
Fight the urge to fix everything for them right away! Just like us, most often the person knows what to do, they just need to feel heard and validated to do it! Once this happens, then you can give them a gentle nudge in the right direction and encourage them to respond appropriately.
3. Get Them Into The Bible
Point your people to specific places in God’s word. Part of counseling is spiritual growth and maturity – and this will only happen if the person is directed to God and His Word. This doesn’t mean you have to be a Bible expert, but use all the resources you have available to you to counsel from Biblical truths, not just psychological ones. (Google, or bible.com are great tools to help you search for verses).
4. Share From Your Own Experience
It often seems like God pairs up a group with the right leaders! As you’re dealing with difficult issues, think about your own life and share from a firsthand experience. Your authentic story wil always be met with more receptivity than a proposition about what they should do.
5. Follow Up Is Key
If someone needs more help, schedule time to keep the conversation going or you can ask for pastoral help on the evaluation. Don’t be afraid to bring it up again, but be selective. No one responds to nagging!
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