Cutting/Self Injury

The Issue:

Self Injury (SI) or Self Harm happens in many ways. It could be hitting oneself, breaking bones, picking scabs, biting or burning. Cutting is the most common. SI is a coping mechanism like drinking, pornography, or being busy. Cutting can be a medicine to numb out stress and pressure. Many students don’t have the skills to handle the fears, anxiety, and confusion of being a teenager. They look for an external release to the inward conflict they face. Seeking relief in this way can lead to cutting or self injury as a habit. There may be some connection between suicide and SI. Most teens who self injure have no intention to commit suicide, they are trying to cope with the life they are living.

The Concern:

Self injury is not limited to the stereotype of troubled teen girls. Many “normal” and “well adjusted” guys and girls self injure. Teens who self injure are looking for answers and hope in a very dangerous way. While suicide or serious harm are not the goal of self injury, it is possible for things to get out of hand and serious damage to occur. When students self injure there are other serious issues going on that need to be addressed.

The Bible:

God created man in his image (Gen. 1:27). There is tremendous value in this. Each of our students were uniquely created for a purpose. Self injury comes out of a false understanding of the student’s value before God who gave his son to die for them. 

In the Old Testament, God made a law prohibiting self mutilation (Lev. 19:28) to distinguish his people from the pagans around them who would cut or mutilate themselves in worship to false gods. While this law is not required of believers the same way today, it demonstrates God’s value of the person and the body and behaving differently than the culture nearby.

Paul in the New Testament talks about the true owner of the body of the believer. In talking about sexual issues in 1 Cor. 6:19-20, Paul says that the body is where the Holy Spirit lives. It is a sacred gift from God that he paid a high price for. The truth of this passage applies to self injury and defiling the temple of the Holy Spirit that is God’s no longer ours as believers.

Places to start:

What you say won't be nearly as important as how you say it. To open the conversation, you might simply say that you know about the cutting, and then convey your concern, love, and your willingness to help.

• Let them know you are there to talk when their feelings get to be too much
• Help them come up with things to do instead of cutting or self-injury
• Pray, listen to worship music, journal, talk to you or a friend, take a nap, exercise, etc.
• Talk about feelings, success, and disappointment in everyday life so they don’t pile up
• Address the trouble they are dealing with, but also help them see the good things in their life.

Places to stay away:

Teens who cut or self-injure have very serious problems that are coming up in unhealthy ways.

• Don’t threaten them or devalue them, instead offer comfort.
• Focusing too much on the cutting (unless there are health issues) while neglecting the deeper issues going on.

Where to learn more:

http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/help_cutting.html#

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html#

http://www.parenting.org/article/understanding-teen-cutting-and-self-injury

http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/cutting-self-harm-signs-treatment

http://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-self-mutilation.html

http://christianstudentsmentalhealth.webs.com/selfharm.htm

Dr. Drew is a popular doctor that students probably know about and may trust for advice. In this case we trust him too. Here is what he says about cutting. http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Teens-and-Cutting-Q-and-A-with-Dr-Drew-Pinsky

6 Weekly Tasks of a LifeGroup Leader

This is a guide for the leaders of all of Beachpoint's LifeGroups to know what is expected of them. It will help you be more effective in leading your LifeGroup and caring for students.

      1.    Pray for your LifeGroup members.

Pray for your people every week! You do the possible and ask God to do the impossible in their lives! Create a list of prayer requests during the group to help you remember what to pray for and what to follow up on! It’s also an excellent way to start off your discussion the following week to see together how God is answering prayer!

2.    Prepare to facilitate your LifeGroup.

A good LifeGroup leader doesn’t arrive unprepared to facilitate the discussion having spent less than 15 minutes looking at the questions. Be sure to carve out time to prepare. If you have a co-leader in the group, at least call to get on the same page, if not to talk about how you’ll work together that week. The earlier you prepare, the less you’ll be caught off guard by a difficult-to-grasp passage, issue or oddly written question. Good preparation will always lead to better discussion!

3.    Let God’s Spirit lead you during the discussion.

Be prepared to lead the discussion questions, but if you sense God doing something, move with Him. Don’t hide behind the Spirit and be unprepared, but don’t fight the Holy Spirit stirring either!

4.    Seek out the one.

      Be on the lookout for someone in your group who may need special attention. The signs can be subtle; they are more quiet than usual, more high strung, or they use language that hints at something that’s going on the inside that they’re afraid to talk about in the group. Chances are good that someone will need you more than the rest that week. When you get the feeling that someone needs some extra attention – you’re probably right and should seek them out for some one-on-one discussion.

5.    Direct people towards transformation.

Remember, the LifeGroup is an open door to discipleship. Challenge your group as a group and as individuals to take steps of transformation. It could be getting baptized, or serving, or beginning to read the Bible for themselves; whatever it may be, don’t shy away from leading them in this way!

6.    Follow up with people who weren’t there.

      A short text or phone call goes a LONG way. Make quick connections with the people who missed. Maybe the door will be open for significant conversation, and at the very least they’ll feel cared for and missed! If you’re calling students, try and use their home phone in the hopes that the parents will answer. This parental opportunity can create a great chance for you as the leader to brag on their kid, and in doing so, minister to them!

      How have you seen these tasks benefit your group? Share in the comments.

Youth Ministry Success Pyramid

The goal of youth ministry is for Christ to transform students' hearts and lives. This pyramid is a quick guide illustrating what we value and how we do youth ministry at Beachpoint. 

Thank you for being an invaluable part of our ministry! Your relationship with Christ and caring for our students and their families help make all of this possible.

We love celebrating success. Feel free to share how you have seen God work in these areas in the comments.